i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
its not stalking. its research.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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