Pappa wants mamma naked
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
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The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
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Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.