first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar