so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Enjoy the penises