i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?