I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
