oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
