I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There r osticjed everywhere
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
