Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
