ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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