Can Purell be used as lube?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Everything about him screamed your future.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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