I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
