how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This baby is an asshole
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
