I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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