I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize