Plan B is the new Plan A
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize