Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
