I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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