I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
