Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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