Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
