And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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