Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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