i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
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The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
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Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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