Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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