i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
