I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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