Are we in a gay sports bar?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
