Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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