No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
