nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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