Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
