I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize