and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
