fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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