I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
