im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
