he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize