i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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