Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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