hotel room ftw
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
