PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
