But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
