got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
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