see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
