The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
