I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
