Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
