The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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