Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Everything about him screamed your future.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she pinky promised me she was 18
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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