he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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