Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
