Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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