it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So apparently I’m into choking now
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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