I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
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We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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