So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
