a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
